How to audit your partner before combining finances
Written and accurate as at: Aug 14, 2025 Current Stats & Facts
It’s probably no surprise that money is one of the biggest contributors to stress and conflict in relationships. But many of the issues couples face years in can be traced back to a lack of honest conversations early on.
That’s why it’s so important to understand each other’s financial habits, expectations and goals before you merge finances. Here are a few areas worth discussing that might help you and your partner avoid unnecessary tension later.
Does your partner have any debts?
On its own, debt isn’t necessarily a red flag. After all, most people carry some form of debt, whether it’s HECS-HELP debt, credit cards or a mortgage. What matters, however, is how your partner is managing it.
For example, does your partner pay their credit card balance in full each month or do they treat it as a license to spend beyond their means? If they see their debt as a ‘problem for tomorrow’, that attitude could eventually become a problem for both of you.
Some questions to ask might include:
- What kinds of debts do they have? Are they good or bad debts?
- Are they comfortable making repayments or do they feel overextended?
- Do they expect you to help pay off their debt or will it remain their sole responsibility?
While you might feel a personal obligation to help out now, you generally won’t be legally liable for your partner’s debt if you break up. That is, unless the debt was jointly held, you had signed on as a guarantor, or you had put up a joint asset as security.
How responsible are they with money?
Is your partner a spender or a saver? Does money leave their account as quickly as it enters? Or do they treat savings as a fixed line item in their budget, fretting if they’re so much as a dollar off track?
Our values are reflected in our behaviours, and where your partner falls between these two extremes now will tell you a lot about how they’ll approach managing your finances together.
Of course, it shouldn’t necessarily be a dealbreaker if your partner is less prudent with money than you’d like. But any differences you uncover should hopefully be an opening for further discussion, and an attempt to find a middle ground that works for both of you.
Some questions to ask might include:
- Do they spend less than they earn?
- Do they have financial goals they’re working towards?
- Do they budget or track their purchases in any way?
- Are they impulsive with their money, or do they mull over big expenses before making a decision?
- Do they have an emergency fund to cover unexpected costs?
What about if your partner has a mortgage?
If we’re dividing debts into good and bad, a mortgage falls firmly in the ‘good’ category, so don’t fret if your partner is coming to the relationship with this kind of debt in tow. In the long run, it can potentially benefit both of you — say, by providing additional income or a future home for your kids.
Many people volunteer to help their partner with repayments, especially if the mortgaged property is the one the couple is living in. But would you be simply pitching in, paying the equivalent of rent, or investing in the property as an eventual co-owner?
Both you and your partner will need to be clear on what your contributions mean ahead of time. And since this might have serious implications if you split up, whatever you decide should ideally be put into a formal agreement.
Some details it could specify include:
- How much will you contribute?
- Will your contributions sit in an offset account or go directly towards paying down the principal?
- Will you get your contributions back if you split up?
- Is there any intention to add you to the title deed?
Tackling these thorny topics early on can spare you a lot of stress down the track. But you should also keep in mind that in a formalised relationship, there may be legal rights and obligations that guide how finances and debts should be dealt with. A financial adviser can help you understand what to expect, regardless of the legal status of your relationship.